Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Song of Myself









"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us "Universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to acheive this completely, but the striving for such acheivement is in itself a part of the liberation, and a foundation for inner security."
-Albert Einstein-



"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,


And what I assume you shall assume,


For every atom belonging to me


as good belongs to you.





I loafe and invite my soul,


I lean and loafe at my ease


observing a spear of summer grass.





My tongue, every atom of my blood,

form'd from this soil, this air,


Born here of parents born here from parents the same,

and their parents the same,


I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin,


Hoping to cease not till death. "

-Walt Whitman-

Saturday, September 10, 2011

navigation

fixed on you
like Magellan on a star
my heart ready
to drop onto the floor

silly to pick a word
to mirror my heart
one word should be
light as a dove
but comes out
heavy as sludge

a word can't mimic
the bliss of your touch
or taste of your tongue

Sunday, August 21, 2011

amen, Bob Dylan!

"Yes, to dance
beneath the diamond sky
with one hand waving free
Silhouetted by the sea,
circled by the circus sands
With all memory and fate
driven deep beneath the waves
Let me forget about today
until tomorrow."

efflorescence


Kissing you is like
inhaling the moon,
drowning in dark light,
falling into bloom.

Dead delight reversed,
this powerful pull.
A possible curse,
or beautiful fall?

Monday, July 18, 2011

having the flu and with nothing else to do

by Charles Bukowski

"I read a book about John Dos Passos and according to
the book once radical-communist
John ended up in the Hollywood Hills living off investments
and reading the
Wall Street Journal
this seems to happen all too often.
what hardly ever happens is
a man going from being a young conservative to becoming an
old wild-ass radical
however:
young conservatives always seem to become old
conservatives.
it's a kind of lifelong mental vapor-lock.
but when a young radical ends up an
old radical
the critics
and the conservatives
treat him as if he escaped from a mental
institution.
such is our politics and you can have itall.
keep it.
sail it up your
ass."

Monday, July 4, 2011

independence day


Magic sparks and shimmers
across the sky
it'd take a fool to try
to hold that hot flame
captured until it's cold.

A dead cylinder
in the palm of your hand,
to capture the glowing magic of night
and hold it in a jar,
only to wake up and realize
that you killed it dead.
What was once a luminous mystery
now a sterile tangle of legs and feelers.

If my thoughts of you
were like locks of hair,
I'd wind them up in my fingers
until the golden tendrils
became so curled and kinked
that it hurt to be turned,
I couldn't let go.

I am the berry plump and juicy,
ready to be picked.
You are the thorn, sharp and hidden,
ready to prick.
Now it's independence day,
so drop away

drop away.

city blocks

East coast women
hairy beast women
study Lady Brett,
decide if she's a bitch.

Making a living,
these days too many
reaching dead hands
to the numb wind.

Yapping maw of femininity
screeches, scrawls
winter, eternity
lives all close and crowded.


Monday, June 27, 2011

things that are certain



Stars have their fires
the fly its flitter
churches, their spires
the rain its hammer.

How many wrinkles can eyes hold?
Night draws his curtain
these stories all told
a hundred year clock, our burden.

Sure release of eggs
insures against the certain scythe
cramp of blood, pain, dregs
of unfulfilled life.

So lay out the tools:
tin nails and typewritten pages,
paint tubes, tape and broom
to protect while body ages.

Friday, June 24, 2011

the return of lost things

suddenly
all the lost objects
re-appear.

one guitar pick
camouflaged tortoiseshell
on the table
and wait, here are two more,
here are those pink knee socks
(whore socks, Junior called em)
and look here,
on the ground,
a spare key,
ninety dollars worth of gold.

all the lost things returning
from their place of ether
here comes that smart guy from school,
the nice one, strolling across the aisle,
and the soulmate, she's back too,
singing those shiny radiant songs
fueled by grapes and cheese.
another friend pops her head in the window,
says 'help me with this wedding'
and the old guy wants to
watch the old dog
like in the old days.

broken webs repaired,
like magic.
there's Hugo, the deer with three legs
maybe he'll find his lost leg in
river's rivulet over there,
in the dark woods.

let's dream big
fill up space with grand dreams
of beautiful new lives
dreams multiplying into infinity
with Hindu goddess arms.
How about a restored frontal lobe?
Pure untainted flesh?
A whole family on holiday?
Belief in real enraptured love?
Trust, purpose?

Casting those fine dreams
up into the fine air
like a pink blonde witch,
up into the giant question mark
of giant arms and hands
where they'll get sorted
while I tend the garden.



Sunday, June 12, 2011

Preacher Casy


"'A girl was just a girl to you. They wasn't nothin' to you. But to me they was holy vessels. I was savin' their souls. An' here with all that responsibility on me I'd just get 'em frothin with the Holy Sperit, an' then I'd take 'em out in the grass.'

'Maybe I should of been a preacher,' said Joad."

from "Instructions to Poets and Painters"



by Lawrence Ferlenghetti

"I asked a hundred painters and a hundred poets
how to paint sunlight
on the face of life
Their answers were ambiguous and ingenuous
as if they were all guarding trade secrets
Whereas it seems to me
all you have to do
is conceive of the whole world
and all humanity
as a kind of art work
a site-specific art work
the whole earth and all that's in it
to be painted with light

And the first thing you have to do
is paint out the postmodern painting
And the next thing is to paint yourself
in your true colors
in primary colors
as you see them (without whitewash)
paint yourself as you see yourself
without make-up
without masks
then paint your favorite people an animals
with your brush loaded with light
And be sure to get your perspective right
and don't fake it
because one false line leads to another"

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

wave a white flag

by Elvis Costello

"take off your shoes
hang up your wings
stack up the chairs
roll up the rug
savor the things
that sobriety brings
drainin' the last from a jug

but when I hit the bottle
there's no telling what I'll do
there's something deep inside me
wants to turn you black and blue
I can't resist you
I can't wait
To twist your loving arms
till you capitulate

beat me in the kitchen
and I'll beat you in the hall
there's nothing I love better
than a free for all
to take your pretty neck
and see which way it bends
but when it is all over
we will still be friends

wave a white flag
put away the pistol
too many people just can't get kissed
but if there's nothing I can do
to make amends, baby,
hope you don't murder me, gee baby,
hope you don't murder me"



Sunday, June 5, 2011

get in touch



If you have suggestions about writing, want to share your own stuff, have issues with me as a person you'd like to iron out, or would just like to get in touch, call me. 513-678-1941. Anonymity is for the birds! I'm really very sweet and like to keep it real.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

sex without love

by Sharon Olds

"How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health- just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time."

Saturday, May 7, 2011

gratitude


This is not a poem.

I am grateful for my parents. Without their support I would never have been able to do all of the things I have done. I'm grateful for them instilling the values of travel, freedom and independence in me from a young age. I'm grateful for their undying love and support. They are my backbone and my strength.

I am grateful for all of the living I have done in the last decade. I feel like I've crammed an entire lifetime's worth of experience into the last ten years. I'm grateful to have the tools that move me into a more balanced pace as life begins to slow down.

I'm grateful for the sun, the wind, the stars, the moon, the grass, the smells of water on air, the sound of crickets in late summer, fireflies in the trees and bushes, the way new snow sparkles like diamonds, thunder and lightning, strong driving rain, the sunrise and sunset.

I'm grateful for the men I've had in my life, the lessons they've taught me about patience, honesty, openness, communication, vulnerability and forgiveness. I am grateful for my losses for showing me that I can get back up after a fall, and that with time all things change. Hurt doesn't last forever.

I am grateful for my imagination. All the places I've traveled. My friends. My students. My curiosity about the world. Fresh food in plentitude. Plenty of water to drink and bathe in. Heat. Sunlight. My pets for all the love, affection and humor they bring into my life. Good health. Easy laughter.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

another day in the rain

Another day in November,
you can pretend there's no problem
until you're face to face with it
at the dinner table

where your brother, he's lost in another world
his face a mask of ever changing mood
menacing smirk
crazed grin
twisted scowl
wide eyed toddler,

a lunatic plunged headlong into darkness
standing in front of the mirror
trying on all these masks,
these horrific identities
since the real one slid down the drain
many showers ago.

All you can eat is the lump in your throat
and in silence shove back the tears
the incredible sadness washes, waves
run into the bathroom,
with one lonely bar of soap
and one 99 cent bottle of shampoo.

What is the unbearable sadness of this life?
run into your father's garage,
break down into a hug, a rare opportunity
shake your head, stare at the tools and paint.

The hurt of all these sick generations,
palpable in the fluorescent air
heavy, hopeless,
anything would be easier
than this fruitless game of pretend.

Shove down the potatoes,
a pasty lump of ancestral pain
hand them in heaping forkfuls
to the greedy dog under the table
to get the meal finished faster,
then slide away into the night.

Another day in May,
wondering,
what is this life?
So hard to keep an open heart
with all these faces gaping
and words, words.

Your brother is sick
nowhere in this world for him,
he can't find any love
so he'll take it
with razor blades.
Look at the mugshots,
try to understand something,
only there's nothing to understand.

The kids still play baseball,
people still buy their Friday night beers,
clerks still ring up customers,
while your family breaks.
Float by this day,
just another scared shadow,
shocked.


Saturday, April 9, 2011

little wild ones


Come down off that mountain,
my little wild one.

Always liking the misfits better.
Always up in your head,
taking your pants off.

St. Dominic, the patron saint
of juvenile delinquents
and choir boys.

Those sons of bitches
would steal a nickel
right off a dead man's eye.



last spring


laying on the military trunk
breathing afternoon woodsmoke

dried mud caking my feet
paint chips scraping my soft skin

wearing my boyfriend's flannel shirt
and the bradford pear
smelling like a man

listening


Part of being grown
is not giving in
to every urge you may have.
Are you listening?

The turtle carries
her shell, slowly,
but surely progressing.
Are you listening?

The good men out there
build clouds
and us girls lay in them,
laughing hysterically.
Are you listening?

Doing the old dance,
believing what you are shown,
not what you're dreaming.
Are you listening?

Dangling on the edge of a clock,
flying on blue currents
of adrenaline and immaturity.
You could bounce on my smile.
Are you listening?


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Lord Byron on poetry


"Poetry is the lava of the imagination whose eruption prevents an earthquake."-- Lord Byron

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

storytelling

Once upon a time
to have been somebody's amazon warrior
been somebody's wide-eyed wild woman
have been somebody's sugar mama
have been somebody's Jackie Kerouac
been the cool side of their pillow.

Reborn in a Nashville hotel room
with the changing of the light
daylight savings

No longer naming myself,
trying to grow my face into masks
which don't quite fit.

Just sit on this cushion
and name bird noises
in the early morning

Scribble silly things in a notebook
and try not to take everything
so damn serious.

The world
needs its clowns,
its sad-eyed poets,
its piss-bottle men,
its lobotomy eyed suburb wives.
They're all lugging heavy hearts around.

On this big road
we are propelled at such high speeds
in chunks of mineral smelted and drawn

from deep inside this earth
fueled by burning hunks
of old dinosaurs

Stars of our little stories,
playing our little roles,
zipping along in metal bubbles.

We listen to voices
of those we've never met
over vast distances.



Thursday, March 17, 2011

Blood of the Bag Lady


by Lawrence Ferlenghetti

"Happy he
who held those breasts
apples of bliss
blissfully hanging
once upon a time

Now she of the broken bust
stumbles across the street
looking for butts
Old bag of blood
with a history to tell
of where all that blood came from
coursing through generations of generations
all those swimming unsinkable genes
in veins and arteries of the world
sailing through rife humanity
through that beat body
A walking gene pool
teeming tide pool born of oceans
Mother of us all"

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

proof of love


take one series of sweet and tender kisses
add a few rolls between the sheets
minus one small shower
factor by two bowls of homemade soup
multiply by
two oxytocin
three vasopressin
one hefty dose of dopamine
divide by six moments of gnawing longing
subtract one thwarted pregnancy
multiply by the zero of unreturned calls
and what do you get?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Sonnet 27

by William Shakespeare

Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,
The dear repose for limbs with travel tired;
But then begins a journey in my head,
To work my mind, when body's work's expired:
For then my thoughts, from far where I abide,
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keeping my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see:
Save that my soul's imaginary sight
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,
Makes black night beauteous, and her old face new.
Lo, thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,
For thee and for myself no quiet find.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

smoke and leather


The first boyfriend smelled
like smoke and leather,
just like each one since.

Sixteen years passed,
still the same reaction,
this scent trails like a
musky orchid
and my lips tingle,
my stomach floats.

Smoke and leather guys
end up smelling like
bile and rubbing alcohol
and take too many drugs
and think they're turning into skeletons
and cut their arms with broken glass.

A man should smell
like pollen and cut grass,
like car parts,
and jobs,
and a good sweat.

reduction in force

the cookies rest sedately
on a work counter
under fluorescent light,
a simple reminder
of how it crumbles underfoot,
slides with the tide of apathy,
slippery,
slipping.

a living wake for my job,
that I still get up and go to.

a living wake for my family,
very much alive and breathing.

a living wake for my spirit,
fading fast with each passing of the day.

the sweetness of the cookie
tastes like a bitter pill
or a heavy load of syrup.
so I take the whole box
and give the mess away.

mountain



nothing wrong with
being sweet all the time
letting the sweetness lift and lift
my heart, radiating
up, up

filling the atmosphere
with warm pink light,
orange gleaming shine,
prismatic dust motes,
golden cream seashells,
fierce tiger lilies and red rose petals
raining,
misting down,
radiant.

enclosed in a dark diamond sky
white snow glittering underfoot
a sense of a dome
vast, dizzying, upward
up, up,
merging, growing, magical, unearthly.

floating in this little room
this temple, our spaceship
adults tucked like sleepy children
by a roaring fire on Christmas Eve
bowls appearing from the ether
singing their deep circular sound
ringing around the tiny room
merging, merged.

bursting forth with love
a crack of sunlight
in winter's gloomy gray fortress