penny nightmares

try to turn away
turn into the gray cocoon
float over the frozen ocean
bob and weave into
comfortable nothingness
it's these penny nightmares
it's a terrifying thing, being seen

but every time you try to turn
I will grab one corner
of your fiery wings
get burned
and pull you from the flame
of infinite space
watery time
painful thought

tuck you under my arm
and run
to the warm hearth
the soft couch
the laden table
tuck you inside
and let you use
my heart for your pillow

reminders

scars
are a physical history
of pain

shoulder
straight tequila
from the bottle
blurred out fireworks
he throws me on the ground
"whore"
everyone sees with pity

nose
sliding off
the big green truck
when you're two years old
only mama
remembers the blood

arms
out of the bar
taking his silver car
so he kisses me
with a closed fist
black eye,
bloody lip
slivered shards

knee
off the bike
on the gravel
taking risks

foot
walk him to the
steel front door
rehab
and go straight to
the brown bottle
washing my white party dress
with red wine

jaded alarm
these scars
these arms
these harms